The coming of a first new baby is a time of excitement and every Muslim mother-to-be eagerly awaits the arrival of this special gift. It is easy to find the latest advice and useful practical tips and information about what to expect of the early weeks of motherhood on a day to day basis from Western books, but because they are bereft of the guidance of Islam, they contain little advice for Muslim Women when it comes coping spiritually with the coming of a baby. Every baby is different and some first time mothers find things quite easy and smooth. But nearly all will have moments when they struggle to reorganize their lives and many have a very trying time if their baby suffers from colic or has trouble settling down or if the birth was complicated and long. There are many things Muslim women can do to make this time as smooth as possible and increase their Eemân.

Welcome your child in the correct Islamic manner

• The Adhân being recited to the child soon after the birth so that it is the first thing the child hears.
• Tahnîk: rubbing a small piece of softened date or something sweet on the palate of the newborn.
• Shaving the hair of the newborn on the seventh day and giving the value of its weight in silver to charity.
• Announce the good news of the birth to family and friends and you will see that everyone is happy when they hear of the birth of a new Muslim child!
• The Aqîqah is a strong Sunnah and many scholars regard it as an obligation upon the parents and it is the slaughtering of two sheep or goats for a boy and one sheep or goat for a girl preferably on the seventh day. The Prophet ( sallallâhu alaihi wa sallam) is reported to have said:

  “The Aqîqah is a right (upon you). (Slaughter) for a boy two compatible sheep, and for a girl: one”. (Ahmad and others.)^[1] Although many people send money to poor Muslim countries for the Aqîqah, this important Sunnah should be revived in the societies we live in as well. By having the Aqîqah in your locality, by eating of the meat yourself and having your friends and family and other Muslims gather and take part in this joyous occasion or in distributing the meat to them there are many benefits: First of all this is the way the Prophet (sallallâhu alaihi wa sallam) practiced it. The sense of identity of the Muslim community as well as Muslim children will increase, people will know that there is a new addition to the Ummah and will pray for your child insha Allâh and you will be able to enjoy this occasion and perhaps meet family and friends who you may not be able to see so often now that you are a busy mother.

• A good name is one of the rights of the child. Good names are those which are known to be pleasing to Allâh and approved by His Messenger or acceptable to the scholars of Islam. Recommended names are those that show servitude to Allâh: Abdullah, Abdurrahmân etc. The names of the Prophets and Sahâbah and the pious people before us will also have a good effect on the childs psyche. She will want to be like Mariam (‘ alaihas Salâm) and he will want to be like ‘Umar (Radi Allâhu ‘anhu) if you give them those names insha Allâh. And the child will have a role model in their name and love to hear the story of a person in the past with their name. Make sure the name has a good meaning, don’t just name it because it sounds good. There have been some people especially from amongst the non-Arabs who have named their children names that sound good but have a bad or improper meaning for a Muslim. That name will have an effect on the character of that child and will follow that child for life. One name that we came across amongst some children was a Muslim girl called: Ilâha! Meaning ‘goddess’! We seek refuge in Allâh from such names.
• Circumcision: If you have a son, get him circumcised on the seventh day or as soon as you can so as not to cause the child discomfort. It’s good to get a personal recommendation when looking for a Doctor and the procedure is a very easy one and local anesthetic is usually used. Usually healing takes a week or two.

Du’a and other worships

Although you will not be performing Salâh as you are in your Post natal bleeding period, this is a time you need to call on Allâh regularly and using His names and attributes, call on Him sincerely, ask Him to make easy anything you may be finding difficult. Make du'a for your child for the du’a of the mother for her child is answered as occurs in the hadîth:

Some du’as you can make for your child are as follows:

• The du’a that the Prophet used to make for Hasan and Hussain which was also the du’a that the Prophet Ibrahîm (alaihis salâm) used to make for Ismaîl and Ishâq was:

  “U’îdhukumâ bi kalimât illâhi-ttâmah, min kulli shaytânin wa hâmmah wa min kulli ‘ainin lâmma”^[3]

  “I seek refuge for you with Allâh’s complete words from every Devil and harmful creature and from every envious eye”

• And the du’a of Mariam’s mother (alaihas Salâm) to Allâh:

  “Innî u’îdhu hâ bika wa dhurrîyyatuhâ minashaitânir-rajîm”

  “I seek Your protection for her and her progeny from Shaitan, the outcast.” (Surah آl-‘Imran 3:36)

• Suratul Fâtihah, Ayatul Kursî and the last three Surah’s of the Qur’ân can also be recited for seeking protection.

Breastfeeding

Allâh’s Messengers too were breast-fed. Allâh inspired Musa’s mother to put her baby Musa in a basket in the river to save him from Pharaoh’s killing decree, Pharaoh’s family found him and wanted to keep him and looked everywhere for a wet-nurse to breastfeed him and Allâh caused Musa to refuse to be breast-fed by any woman except his own mother.

The Prophet Muhammad Sallallâhu‘alaihi wa sallam in his childhood, suckled from his mother Aminah, Thuwaybah – a slave girl of his uncle Abu Lahab, Umm Ayman and Halimah as-Sa’diyyah.^[5]

The Prophet’s Sallallâhu‘alaihi wa sallam children too were breastfed. His son Ibrahîm had a wet-nurse as occurs in a hadîth and when his son passed away he was only 1 year and 10 months old so there were two months of suckling left for him so the Prophet sallallâhu alaihi wa sallam said as narrated by Al-Bara (bin Azib): The Prophet, after the death of his son Ibrahîm, said, " There is a wet-nurse for him (i.e. Ibrahîm) in Paradise."^[6]

It is only in modern times that the wide use of artificial forms of baby-feeding, cow’s and goat’s milk formulas, have been used and that women have left their homes in pursuit of careers which make them leave the superior role that Allâh has given them and pulled them away from the home to serve others and leave their own families.

Allâh Subhanahu wa ta’âla tells us the recommended time of suckling a child in the Qur’ân:

Look at the importance of breastfeeding! Our Creator even mentions it in the Qur’ân a number of times! Breastfeeding is widely acknowledged now as being the best food for babies. It provides everything your baby needs: it is clean and sterilized, the right temperature, it’s fresh, it’s easily digested, contains antibodies and anti-allergens and is designed by Allâh perfectly for your baby’s needs. As a result, breast fed babies have better immune systems, and less infections. But that is not all. Scientists agree that babies gain many psychological and emotional benefits through breastfeeding too. Some scholars say that the good characteristics of the mother are transferred to the child through breastfeeding. The child feels ultimate comfort and security through being so close to his mother and their special bond is strengthened, so much so that in Islâm if a non-related woman breastfeeds a child she becomes a foster mother to him and her children are foster sisters and brothers to him who he cannot marry! As the Prophet (Sallallâhu‘alaihi wa sallam) said as is related in a number of Ahadîth:

What more proof do we need of the bond that is created through breast-feeding? It is permissible with the parent’s joint agreement to have a child breastfed by another woman and that wet-nurse is entitled to a wage. It was the custom at the time of the Prophet ( Sallallâhu‘alaihi wa sallam) to be breastfed by other women, which strengthened relationships and made more mahram men for women etc. This also took the strain off one woman if she was finding it difficult.

In Islâm, unless there is a legitimate excuse, the mother is required to breastfeed her baby. It is an obligation upon both parents – the mother provides the milk and the father provides the material support for the mother even if they are divorced.^[8] If a parent thinks there is a need to wean the baby before the end of two years it is permissible after consultation and joint agreement.

In the West, although breastfeeding is regarded as the best way to feed a child, still, some health professionals do not hesitate to advise women to give their babies formula milk top ups or to part breast feed- part bottle feed, even without a serious reason. And unfortunately many Muslim Women take this up too. Of course if there is a serious reason then this is unavoidable (although reviving the tradition of other women feeding our children would be very useful in this case). But all too often our sisters are talked into bottle-feeding for convenience reasons or because a baby’s weight is not picking up as quickly as the chart says it should. However many women have found that even if it seems difficult at first, if they persevere, breastfeeding becomes easier. Yes you may have some discomfort early on and it is physically demanding at times because as the mother, you alone must wake up often and feed you baby whereas with bottle-feeding someone else can do it for you. But we must ask ourselves: Why has Allâh given the mother such an honoured and lofty status in Islam? Why does she have so many rights upon her children, even more than the father in many cases? Is it not because of the sacrifices she made? The pain she endured? The nights she stayed awake?

Your new baby has just come from a very secure environment where all his needs were being met and he was so close to you and now he is suddenly in this very sensuous world where he may be feeling hunger, thirst, seperation, pain for the first time. He needs you and that closeness, nourishment and security that suckling gives him.

As Sheikh Suhaib Hasan so aptly puts:

The scholars of the past too knew the importance of breast milk and the following is just a snippet of Ibn ul Qayyim’s advice regarding breastfeeding:

Patience & Gratitude

No pain afflicts a Muslim except that some of his sins are forgiven due to it. If things happened in labour, which you didn’t like, discuss with your husband how you could avoid those things in the future. But try not to over analyse things. Simply think of solutions and seek advice and seek Allâh’s aid and move on. Deal with any major problems you can highlight to the hospital or nursing staff, but move on. We should remember to count the blessings in our situation and we will find that even though this testing time seems difficult to us - there will always be people who are being tested more than us and our situation is still much better than that of many.

If your labour was particularly difficult, think about Mariam (‘ alaihas Salâm) and how she was all alone through childbirth, no hospital and facilities, no husband, no books telling her what to expect, no family support -and on top of that the fear of being falsely accused by her people and given a bad reputation. Allâh tells us in the Qur’ân, the meaning of which is:

She had no one but Allâh سبحانه و تعالى to help her and of course He was enough for her. Reflect on this: if labour pains are so difficult to bear, then how is it that we sin and do not fear Allâh’s punishment which is more bitter and longer lasting? Should we not now think twice before we sin?

There are probably women in our own families who had much less than we do, less information, facilities and support all round. So we must be thankful. You will see that insha Allâh, within weeks or months you will be physically healed and will become a lot more organized. Allâh has made us able to adapt to changes over time, so we must trust in Him and ask Him to help us overcome any weaknesses we think we may have.

Slow down & Prioritise

Seek help and advice and do your research

Getting advice from our mothers and friends who are mothers is very important because they usually have tips and advice that books cannot teach us. Many sisters like to stay with their mothers in the early weeks. This way they can get as much help and advice as possible and the whole family can spend quality time with the baby! In the past and in many cultures today, extended families live together which can make things easier.

Being around good people will have a good impact on your mood and خmân. The Internet has many medical websites or websites with parent and baby information, which you could look up instantly if you need advice or information quickly about any issues that come up.

Be mindful of your husband’s rights

Your good behaviour towards your husband will not go unrewarded insha Allâh. Remember the hadîth, in which Asmâ bint Yazîd ibn as Sakan (radiallâhu anha) came to the Prophet ( sallallâhu alaihi wa sallam) and said:

Enjoy your baby

Look how much Allâh cared for this great mother, He knew her pain and her feelings and He returned her child to her in the most unexpected way, so we must realize that Allâh is All-Hearing All-Merciful, He knows the plight of the caller when he calls and remember how Allâh has helped mothers throughout the ages and how He mentions many mothers in the Qur’ân: Mariam and her mother, Musa’s mother, Ishâq’s mother Sara, the mother of Yahya. (‘alaihimus salâm).

So enjoy your new baby’s company because these days will pass- never to return. At the different stages of our lives: the beginning of parenthood and at every stage, we will find lessons to reflect upon, signs from Allâh that make us thankful and in awe of Him. From the development of your baby throughout the nine months and in seeing him grow and flower every single day there are signs for you and we can see how helpless we too were and how Alhamdulillah Allâh gave us parents and allowed us to grow. There are so many lessons and benefits for us if only we look and think. Remember that Allâh the Almighty is more merciful to us than the mother is to her child, and He is Arham urRâhimîm (The Most Merciful of those who have mercy), so draw near to Him and make Him the One upon whom you place your trust.

Footnotes

2. Reported by Ibn Majah (No.1270) and others and its isnâd is ‘hasan’ as occurs in sahihul jâmi’ (No.3033)

3. Recorded by Ahmad, verified by al-Albâni as being aunthentic (as-Sahih no.1048)

4. Scholars have stated that it is permissible for the Menstruating woman to recite of the Qur’an and even to hold books with Qur’ânic âyat in them or books which have tafsir in them but not the Mushaf. (Book containing only the Qur’an as the majority of its contents.) This is so that they may not forget the Surahs which they have memorised. See Islamic Fatâwa Regarding Women (Pgs 86- 89 Sheikh Bin Bâz’s fatâwa)

5. Recorded by Ibn Hibban, Abu Dawud and others from ‘Abdullah bin Ja’far. Verified to be hasan by adh-Dhahabiand others.

6. Al-Bukhâri: Volume 4, Book 54, Number 477:

7. Recorded by al-Bukhâri, Muslim and others.

8. See the book “Our Precious Sprouts” (Aflâdhu Akbâdina) by Muhammad al-Jibaly. Pg 153-161 for a dicussion on Breastfeeding and issues related to it.

9. Raising children in Islâm, Suhaib Hasan, Al-Qur’ân Society

10. Tuhfatul Mawdud 140-145 (See Muhammad al-Jibaly’s book “Our Precious Sprouts” (Aflâdhu Akbâdina) pg 161)

11. Adh-Dhahabirelated in Siyar A'lâm An-Nubalâ