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Earning Lawfully
by Husayn ibn 'Abdul 'Azîz Aal Sheikh
17 Shawwaal 1421 (12, January 2001)
Dear Faithfuls! Islaam has come to guarantee a good and clean life that leads Muslims to the highest degree of prosperity in this life and the life to come. It is a principle of this great religion that nothing suits the Good Lord and pleases Him but good. That is why prosperity and success dictate that Muslim should be good, do good and behave good. He is suppossed to be clean inwardly and outwardly. It is then that he becomes one of those Allaah describes thus:
| “Those whose lives the angels take while they are in a pious state (i.e. pure from all evil, and worshipping none but Allaah Alone) saying (to them): Salamun ‘Alaykum (peace be on you) enter you paradise, because of (the good) which you used to do (in the world).” (An-Nahl 16:32). |
Brothers in Islaam! Among issues of paramount importance to Islaam is that of clean source of income. Our Prophet saws, while explaining the way that leads to success and Pleasure of Allaah said:
| “O you people! Indeed, Allaah is Good and does not accept except which that is good. Allaah has also commanded the believers with which He has commanded the Prophets.
He said: ‘O (you) Messengers! eat of the Taiyibat [all kinds of Halal (legal) foods which Allaah has made legal (meat of slaughtered eatable animals, milk produts, fats, vegitables, fruits, etc.)], and do righteous deeds.’ (Al-Mu’minun 23:51).He also says: ‘O you who believe (in Oneness of Allah -Islamic Monotheism)!Eat of the lawful things that We have provided you with, and be grateful to Allah, if it is indeed He whom you worship.’ (Al-Baqarah 2:172). |
Also among the teachings with which Allaah sent His Messengers is to make good things lawful for their people and to make forbidden to them filthy things. He says while commending the Prophet saws:
| “He allows them as lawful At-Taiyibat [(i.e. all good and lawful) as regards things, deeds, beliefs, persons, foods, etc.] and prohibits them as unlawful Al-Khabaith (i.e. all evil and unlawful as regards things, deeds, beliefs, persons, foods, etc.).” (Al-A’raaf 7:157) |
Fellow Muslims! Seeking for pure earnings is compulsory rather, an incontrovertible issue among the Muslims. Happiness in this world and safety in the hereafter depend on good sayings and deeds, and clean earnings. At-Tirmidhee reported on the authority of Aboo Sa‘eed Al-Khudree ra that the Prophet saws said:
| “Whoever eats what is pure, acts in accordance with the Sunnah and from whose evil people are save, will enter paradise.” |
If the uncontestable basis of wellbeing and safety in Islaam is pure and unadulterated earnings, the basis for misery and disgrace should also be indulging in filthy sayings and deeds, and earning from sources which are unlawful. Allaah says:
| “And do not exchange bad things for good ones; and devor not their substance (by adding it) to your substance. Surely, this is a great sin.” (An-Nisaa 4:2). |
Fellow Muslims, unlawful earnings causes the severance of one’s ties with the Lord -Most Exalted- and causes lack of acceptance of one’s supplications. The Prophet saws has mentioned the case of
| “The man with an unkempt hair and is dust-covered who is on a long journey. He raised up his hands to the heaven (in supplication) saying: ‘O my Lord! O my Lord!’ While sources of his food, drink and cloth are haraam and he is nourished by haraam. How then could his supplication be accepted?” |
The Prophet saws also said in a Hadeeth:
| “No prayer without purification will be accepted nor a charity from an ill-gotten wealth.” |
Maalik bin Deenaar said:
| “Some people among the Israelites were afflicted with drought and they went out seeking for rain many times. Allaah then sent to their prophet to inform them that: ‘You only came out to me with filthy bodies and raise unto Me hands that are covered with the blood of the innocent and you have filled your stomachs with forbidden things. Now My wrath has become severe on you and you shall never increase except in farness from Me.” |
Dear brothers! The results of unlawful earnings is disastrous. Most dangerous among it is that it leads to Hell and Allaah’s wrath. Al-Bukhaaree reported that the Prophet saws said:
| “There are some men who take Allaah’s money unlawfully. Theirs will be Hell on the Day of Resurrection.”
He saws also said to Ka‘b ibn ‘Ujrah ra: “O Ka‘b ibn ‘Ujrah! A flesh will not grow from an unlawful food except that Hell is its deserving abode.” (At-Tirmidhee). |
Unlawful earning is devoid of Barakah (blessing), satisfaction and rest of mind. Aboo Sa ‘eed Al-Khudree ra said: The Messenger of Allaah saws delivered a speech to the people in which he said:
| ‘No, By Allaah! What I fear for you people is what Allaah is going to bring out for you of the beauties of this world -until he said: ‘Whover takes a wealth rightfully, it will be blessed for him and whoever takes it unlawfully his example is like someone who eats but is never satisfied.” (Al-Bukhaaree and Muslim). |
You should therefore, beware of earning wealth from unlawful means, for, unlawful earnings have demolished lives of its earners. I wish I knew what is going to be the reply of these unlawful earners when they stand tomorrow in front of the Best of all judges and He asks them about these wealths as to where they got it and under which religion they deemed it lawful.
Abstain therefore, dear brethren, from crooked and unlawful ways in all your financial dealings. Be cautious of that, especially in these days that there are many attractive things and different tricky avenues to get unlawful wealth. The Messenger of Allaah saws said:
| “A time will come upon people that a man will no longer care about whether he gets his money by halaal or haraam means.” (Al-Bukhaaree). |
In view of this, you should examine carefully the sources from which you want to get your earnings and endeavor to know the Islamic legal rules regarding it by consulting the authorised sources and trustworthy and pious scholars. Know that whoever fears Allaah, Allaah protects him and provides for him from unexpected sources and that whoever leaves something for the sake of Allaah, He will provide him with a better substitute.
Brothers in Islaam! Among the most dangerous things is fraud and deceit in all its forms and shapes. The Prophet saws said:
| “Whoever deceives us is not of us.” (Muslim). |
It is compulsory for the seller to explain whatever defect that is in his waresto the buyer regardless of the loss it may cause him for, the Prophet saws has said:
| “It is unlawful for a Muslim to sell a defective ware to his brother without exposing the defect to him.” |
Dear brothers! There are some people who think wrongly that the judge’s decision, whenever it is declared in their favor, makes what is decided in their favor lawful for him even though they actually know that the thing is really not theirs. This assumption is false. The Messenger of Allaah saws said:
| “I am only a humanbeing. You may bring your disputes to me for settlement while one of you is likely to be more intelligent in proofing his case than others thereby causing me to rule in his favor based on the argument that I hear. So, whoever I rule in his favor over rights belonging to his brother, I only cut a portion of Hellfire for him.” (Al-Bukhaaree and Muslim). |
He saws also said regarding one who swears falsely in order to snatch another Muslims property:
| “If it is that he has sweared falsely in order to get another person’s property in a wrongful way, Allaah will turn away from him (on the Day of Judgement).” (Muslim). |
Muslim also reported on the authority of Aboo Umaamah ra that the Prophet saws said:
| “Whoever wrongfully takes possession of the right of a Muslim by (false) oath, Allaah has made the Hell his abode and has forbidden him Paradise.” A man then asked: ‘Even if it is an insignificant thing?’ The Prophet saws replied: “Even if it is (as insignicant as) a stick of Araak (a tree from which branches tooth cleaning sticks are plucked).” |
The ‘Ulamaa say:
| ‘Judge’s ruling does not make a forbidden thing lawful, a false thing true nor does it make any change in the reality of things; and all disputes will be revisited on the Day of Judgement.’ |
Brothers in Faith! Give rights fully to whom they are due without any delay for, the Almighty Allaah says:
| “Verily! Allah commands that you should render back the trusts to those, to whom they are due.” (An-Nisaa 4:58). |
The Prophet saws also said:
| “Whover takes people’s money with the aim of paying it back, Allaah will pay on his behalf; and whoever takes it with the aim of destroying it, Allaah will destroy him.” |
Rulings on Currency Exchange
Rulings on Currency Exchange
Currency exchange is selling of one currency for another, for example, the selling of dinars of gold for dinars of silver.
Its Ruling
Currency exchange is permissible, because it is a part of trading, which is allowed in the Qur'an and the Sunnah. Allah said:| "Allah has permitted trading." (2:275) |
The Messenger of Allah ﷺ said:
| "Sell gold for silver however you wish if it is hand to hand (i.e. if payment is made on the spot" |
Its Wisdom
The wisdom behind allowing the exchange of currency is to grant ease to the Muslim in transferring his currency to another currency, which he is in need of.Its Conditions
The condition for allowing the currency exchange is the receipt of the currency on the spot, which means hand to hand. This is due to the Messenger of Allah's statement:|
"Sell gold for silver however you wish if it is hand to hand (i.e. if payment is made on the spot" And the statement of Umar, may Allah be pleased with him, |
| "No, by Allah! Do not separate from him until you take (the price) from him." |
The Messenger of Allah ﷺ said:
| "The sale of gold for silver is Riba, unless it is from hand to hand (i.e. payment is made on the spot)" |
Umar said this to Talhah bin Ubaydullah when Malik bin 'Aws sought to make an exchange with him. So he (Malik) took the dinars and said to him, "Wait until my treasurer comes back from the forest." He meant that at that time he will pay him the dirhams for the dinars he took. (Al-Bukhari)
Its Regulations
There are certain rules for currency exchange. They are as follows:1. It is permissible to exchange gold for gold and silver for silver as long as they are both equal in measurement, whereas neither of them should be more than the other. This is due to the statement of the Messenger of Allah ﷺ:
| "Do not sell gold for gold unless equivalent in weight. And do not sell fewer amounts for greater amounts or vice versa. And do not sell silver for silver unless equivalent in weight. And do not sell fewer amounts for greater amount or vice versa. And do not sell gold or silver that is not present (at the moment of exchange) for gold or silver that is present." (Al-Bukhari and Muslim) |
2. The exchange should take place on the spot. This is due to the statement of the Messenger of Allah ﷺ|:
| "The sale of gold for gold is Riba except if it is from hand to hand, and the sale of silver for silver is Riba except if it is from hand to hand." (Al-Bukhari and Muslim) |
3. It is permissible to trade a variation of quality with different types of items. For example, selling gold for silver if the deal takes place on the spot. This is due to the statement of the Messenger of Allah ﷺ:
| "If these items differ, then sell as you wish if it is from hand to hand." (Al-Bukhari Muslim) |
4. If both parties depart before the receipt of their payment, then the exchange is invalid. This is due to the statement of the Messenger of Allah ﷺ:
| "Unless it is from hand to hand." (Al-Bukhari and Muslim) |
And his ﷺ statement:
| "If it is from hand to hand.") (Al-Bukhari and Muslim) |
Who deserves to be Worshipped Alone?
The submission and obedience of man to His Creator is the essence of Islam. The Name “Islam” is
chosen by God (Allaah) and not by man. It is the same message revealed to all the prophets and
Messengers by Allaah and which they spread amongst their respective nations. In its final and universal
form it was revealed to Muhammad (: may Allaah exalt his mention and save him and his message
from all kinds of evil).
Allaah is the identifying name or title of the Majestic, sole and True God. This noun which is the name
of Allaah applies to none other than Him. He, Most Majestic and Most High, has other names all of
which follow on from His name Allaah. The meaning of the name Allaah is the ma’looh (that which is
worshipped out of love, magnification, deification, and longing). He is the Creator: to Him belongs the
Commandment. No worship is worthy of being given to a stone, statue, a cross, a triangle, Khomeini,
Farakhan, Elijas, Malcom’s X or Y, Ghandi, Krishna, Gurus, Buddha, Mahatma, Emperor, Joseph
Smith, Sun, Moon (not to that from Korea too), Diana, light fire, rivers, cows, Rama, Temples,
Prophets, Messengers (Yes! Muslims do not worship Muhammad (saw), Saints, Priests, Monks, Haile
Selassie, Movie Stars, Sheiks, etc.!! All are created beings or things.
The name Allaah is not chosen by man and it is not named after a prophet, saint or any famous man.
The name “Allaah” was referred to by all prophets including Adam, Jesus, Moses, and by the last and
final Prophet, Muhammad (saw), as the One true God who deserves to be worshipped alone.
The innate nature in man (fitrah) recognizes what is good and bad, what is true and false. It
recognizes that the Attributes of Allaah must be True, Unique, and All-Perfect. It does not feel
comfortable towards any kind of degradation of His Attributes nor does it relax towards associating
human qualities to the Creator. Many who became “discontent with God” did so because of the
practices of the Church in medieval Europe and because of the claims of “god dwelling in a son”, and
that “everyone is born with an original sin”. They “escaped” into worshipping a new theory called
“mother nature” as well as the “material world”. With the advancement of materialistic technology
others from different religions adopted the concept of “forgetting about God” and “let us live this life
and enjoy it!” not realizing that they have chosen the worship of the “origin god” of Rome: The god of
desire!
Today we can see that all of this materialistic progress produced a spiritual vacuum that led to complex
social, economical, political, and psychological problems. Many of those who “fled” their “religions”
are in search again. Some try to “escape” the complexity of their daily lives via various means. Those
who had the chance to examine the Qur’an and Islam, proceed with a complete code for life which
requires man to fulfill the purpose for his presence on earth. Allaah does not want for man to be
enslaved to any false deity: nature, drugs, lust, money, other men, desire, or sex. He provides the
proofs that he is the One who can deliver man from the slavery to any form of creation and to turn to
his Creator alone.
The Creator has Perfect Attributes. He is the First, nothing is before Him. He is the Last, everything
ends except Him; the Most High, nothing is above Him; the Most Near, nothing is beyond His reach
and his compassing, and He is the Most High in His nearness. He is the Ever-Living, to Him we shall
all return, where everyone will be dealt with in the Most Perfect and Just way. He does not beget nor is
He begotten. Those who attribute Divinity to Jesus forget or ignore the fact that Jesus was in a
mother’s womb. He needed nutrition; he was born and grew up to be a man. He was trusted with the
Gospel (Injeel) as a message to the Children of Israel. A man-messenger calling his nation not to
worship him. A man who needs to eat, walk, sleep, rest, etc. cannot have Divine Attributes because he
is in need, but Allaah, the God of Jesus, is far above any imperfection.
With respect to Buddhism, Hinduism, Zoroastrianism, Rastafarianism, etc., all are forms of worship to
created beings/things in one form or another. Jews had attributed a nationalistic belonging to Allaah:
“The Tribal God” of Israel. Men and women following these religions were born with the natural
inclination of worshipping their Creator, Allaah. It is their parents who had driven them into their
respective traditions. Once they are exposed to the Signs of Allaah around them, or in the Qur’an, or to
someone who triggers their Fitrah (natural inclination to worship Allaah alone), the reverting process
begins, and that is why we see a universal spreading of Islam.
There are many distortions of Islam in the media, worldwide. However, Despite the wrong practices of
some Muslims (rulers and ruled) in some countries, those who seek the truth are judging Islam
according to its doctrines. That is why we continue to witness a global growth in the number of people
accepting this true religion of Allaah. The opposition to Islam will intensify with the spread of this truth
in the world. This is not a conflict of “civilizations”, but rather the real struggle between the truths
presented in the creed and principles of Islam and false doctrines and ways of worship. This is a real
challenge for those who seek the Truth. Man is created for a purpose: to live a life in accordance with
Allaah’s way. Why Not? Do we posses the air we breathe? Did we create ourselves or others? Or
were we ourselves the Creators? So is it our right to ignore our Creator when we are all need of Him?
Allaah is All-Just and All-Wise. He does not intend confusion for His Creation. The religion accepted
to Him is the one chosen by Him. Its essence must be One, because He is One and only one True God.
It is the religion of submission to the Will and Commandment of the One Who brought us to life, the
Ever Living who will never die. It is the complete way of life for all mankind. All these qualities are
chosen by Allaah in His only religion: Islam.
I hope that you will come with an open heart to read the Noble Qur'aan, because none can expose the
truth better than the Word of Allaah. The Qur'an was revealed to Prophet Muhammad (saw) in Arabic
and it is not authored by him for he was unlettered. The translations of its meanings into many
languages are available in bookstores or in an Islamic Center close to you.
You may want to know how does one become a Muslim. In order to become a Muslim one must
openly recite ash-shahaadah (the profession of faith): La ilaaha illallaah, Muhammad Rasoolullaah
which means that there is no true god except Allaah and that Muhammad is the Messenger of Allaah.
This means that there is no god worthy of being worshipped but Allaah, and that He must be
worshipped only according to the teaching of His Messenger Muhammad (saw). Those teachings are best
understood by the Prophet’s companions, and those who rightfully follow their path until the Day of
Resurrection. They are called as-salaf as-saalih (the Righteous Predecessors). May Allaah, the Most
High, guide us all to this path.
By: Dr. Saleh As-Saleh
Fiqh Explained
Fiqh linguistically means understanding. Technically in religion, it has two meanings:
1. Knowing and understanding the rulings that pertain to the actions of the people. For example, knowing when and under what circumstances something becomes forbidden, permissible, required, etc.
2. The rulings themselves. For example, knowing that such and such thing is forbidden, permissible, required, etc.
Simply put, Fiqh is concerned with the extraction of Islamic rulings through Islamic sources (Quran, hadith, etc.), which are studied under Usul-ul-Fiqh. In other words, Fiqh is the end result while Usul-ul-Fiqh is the means to that end result. Fiqh is commonly translated as Islamic jurisprudence. These derived rulings or laws cover seven different subjects of life:
1. Rulings related to worship (prayer, fasting, pilgrimage, etc.)
2. Rulings related to family (marriage, divorce, etc.)
3. Rulings related to action of people (buying, selling, business transactions, etc.)
4. Rulings related to duties of the ruler (i.e. Islamic politics)
5. Rulings related to criminal law
6. Rulings related to a Muslim country and it’s relationship/behavior with other countries
7. Rulings related to manners (akhlaq) and modesty
The extracted rulings related to actions fall into one of five levels:
1. Wajib – Obligatory. The one who does it will be rewarded while the one who avoids it will be punished.
2. Haraam – Forbidden. The one who does it will be punished while the one who avoids it will be rewarded.
3. Mandub – Recommended. The one who does it will be rewarded while the one who avoids it will not be punished.
4. Makruh – Disliked. The one who does it will not be punished while the one who avoids it will be rewarded.
5. Mubah – Allowed. The one who does it or avoids it will neither be rewarded nor punished. So there is no reward or punishment for doing or not doing actions of this level.
Because Fiqh is the result of all of the other Islamic sciences, it is usually the main focus of study in the beginning for students of knowledge after Aqeedah. Particularly the rulings related to worship should be studied and practiced immediately. The one who is well versed in Fiqh is better than the one who is not, even if he is well versed in the other sciences. This is because knowing and understanding Fiqh means that the person understands the commandments of Allah and how to apply them in his daily life. Such a person is able to live a life in accordance to the Will of Allah and fulfill his purpose of life, which is the worship of Allah with complete submission to His commandments and prohibitions.
Differences of Opinion
It is also important to note that Fiqh is flexible in the sense that there can result valid differences of opinions amongst scholars on various issues. As for why these differences occurred, then this is a topic which is usually studied under Usul-ul-Fiqh. Due to these differences, in the Sunni sect there are four main schools of thought (madhahib): Hanafi, Maliki, Shafi’i and Hanbali. These schools were established and popularized by the students of the classical jurists, after whom these schools are named, who taught them. Originally there were many more schools of thought but most of them died out. There are other schools of thought in existence and practiced throughout the Muslim world but are not as much popular as the four mentioned above.
Since in the beginning it is difficult for a beginner student of knowledge to determine who is right or wrong and who to follow and not follow, it is recommended for such a student to follow a teacher that he trusts in all his affairs even if it means following a particular school of thought (madhhab). Then as his knowledge grows and the evidences from other schools of thought come to him, then he should follow the strongest proof wherever it may befall.
Shaykh Saalih al-Fawzaan said:
People fall into four categories:
The first category is those who are able to make ijtihaad in absolute terms, by referring directly to the Quran and Sunnah and deriving rulings from them, and they do not follow any other scholars (taqleed).
This is the highest status, but this only applies to the one who fulfils the known conditions of ijtihaad, by having knowledge of the Book of Allah and the Sunnah of the Messenger of Allah ﷺ, and by having knowledge of Arabic in which the Quran was revealed, and by having knowledge of al-muhkam and al-mutashaabih (clear, unambiguous texts and ambiguous texts), al-naasikh wa’l-mansookh (texts which abrogate others and texts which are abrogated), al-mutlaq wa’l-muqayyad (texts with absolute meanings and texts with limited meanings), al-khaas wa’l-‘aam (texts with specific meanings and texts with general meanings). He should also have knowledge of how to derive rulings, meaning that he should be qualified. Such a person may engage in ijtihaad. This category includes people like the four imams – Abu Haneefah, Maalik, al-Shaafa’i and Ahmad – as well as Sufyaan al-Thawri and al-Awzaa’i. To these people Allah gave the ability to engage in ijtihaad.
The second category is those who cannot engage in ijtihaad in absolute terms, but they are able to weigh up the opinions of scholars and determine which is more correct, because of their knowledge of which opinions are based on evidence and which are not.
Such a person must follow that for which there is evidence, and shun that which goes against the evidence. This action is called tarjeeh (weighing up what is more correct) and is also known as al-ijtihaad al-madhhabi (ijtihaad based on the study of different views).
The third category is those who cannot engage in tarjeeh. Such a person is regarded as one of the muqallideen (those who follow other scholars), but if he knows that some opinion has no supporting evidence then he does not follow it. But so long as he does not know and it is not clear to him that it is contrary to the evidence, there is nothing wrong with him imitating and following the opinions of the trustworthy scholars.
The fourth category is the one who is unable to do any of the above; neither ijtihaad in an absolute sense nor weighing what is more correct nor following a specific madhhab, such as the ordinary Muslim, for example.
Such a person has to ask the people of knowledge, as Allah says: “So ask of those who know the Scripture, if you know not” [al-Nahl 16:43]. So he should ask the one who be believes is most trustworthy and the scholar in whom he has the greatest confidence, of those whose knowledge and actions he trusts, and follow his fatwa.
These are the categories of people with regard to this issue.
What a person should do is know what level he is at, and he should not put himself in a higher position than he deserves. Indeed, the matter is more serious than that. He should fear Allah, because it is the matter of halaal (permissible) and haraam, of Paradise and Hell, so he should not indulge in matters that he does not have the knowledge and skill to deal with.
Islamqa.com, 113687
And Shaykh Uthaymeen said:
The one who has no knowledge and no ability to engage in ijtihaad must ask the scholars, because Allah says: “So ask the people of the Reminder if you do not know” [al-Anbiya’ 21:7]. Allah does not enjoin us to ask them except for the purpose of following their opinions. This is taqleed (following). But with regard to taqleed what is forbidden is adhering to a specific madhhab by following it in all cases and believing that this is the way to Allah, so one follows it even if it goes against the evidence.
But the one who has the ability to work things out (ijtihaad), such as the seeker of knowledge who has an abundant share of knowledge may engage in ijtihaad on the basis of the evidence, and follow the one who he thinks is correct, or is most likely to be correct.
As for the ordinary Muslim and the beginner seeker of knowledge, they should strive to follow the one who they think is closer to the truth, because of his abundant knowledge, strong religious commitment and piety.
Islamqa.com, 113687
Usually, Fiqh is learned in the following order:
1) Learn the rulings without the evidence. This is so to strengthen the fundamentals.
2) Learn the evidence of the rulings
3) Rationalize the rulings
4) Compare rulings to other schools of thought
Two Husbands In The House
Many women -because of feminism- don’t obey their husbands, which is sinful.
Some practicing sisters - they are not realizing that they should obey their husbands. Allah’s Messenger said [meaning]; “If I were to command anyone to prostrate before anyone, I would have commanded the wife to prostrate before her husband, because of the enormity of his right upon her.” [Hasan Sahih Al-Albani]
«لو كنت آمرا أحدا أن يسجد لأحد ؛ لأمرت المرأة أن تسجد لزوجها» حسن صحيح الألباني
There are so many other ahadeeth on the rights of the husband from the wife.
A [non muslim] Noble Prize winner said; The Economical and Social crisis within the western world is due to the both husbands not playing the role they should play.
Meaning: the husband should provide for the family, and the woman should help the husband in the home to raise the children and the household.
He said; the husband should play his major role, and the wife should play her major role in the house and provide for the children…etc. Once each party plays their role, a complimentary relationship will form. The husband is the provider for the house, and the wife uses this provision to grow the fruits (i.e. children).
A Wife as a Companion
It is the nature of the man; when he comes back home from work, he is tired and frustrated – and he wants to see his wife looking at him, smiling and caring for him and giving him attention. If he comes home from work and sees his wife on the phone, or the internet, or her attention isn’t on him in a good way – he will feel frustrated. He will feel that his wife is not for him, and due to this, problems start. Even a small thing will become a major thing because he will be ready to argue due to his previous frustration.
Sometimes women might think they’ve done nothing wrong, not knowing the root of the problem. Men have emotional needs, and these are fulfilled when we see our wives next to us and on our side, and this is what brings his happiness.
By not obeying the husband, he feels that she is an opposition to him, someone who wants to rebel instead of being a partner in support.
Who has more control in the home? The traditional answer would be that the husband has control of more things within the home. Whereas in reality; women have more control of the house issues. They just don’t know it.
How? Men by nature – they don’t want to displease their wives. They don’t want wives to keep nagging. They want peace of mind in their houses. Because of this, he wants to do anything to keep her quiet, pleased…etc.
Advice to women; If you want anything from your husband, ask in a very emotionally pleasing way. You will never get anything from your husband if you act like a man with him.
Famous saying; The man is like a ring in the wife’s fingers, she can move him wherever she wants.
The woman cannot control her husband by lecturing/commanding or forcing him, he will hate her if she is like that. But just by a kiss, you can get whatever you want from your husband.
Their tears affect the man more than anything, instead of them shouting, they can just cry in a humble way and that will melt the husband’s heart and be more effective in putting her message across to the husband.
Unfortunately, many women don’t like to exert this type of etiquette, and this is what usually leads to two husbands’ being in the house who are competing against each other - causing the marriage to break down.
Transcription of lecture [with additions & editions] “Why Marriages Fail” By, Haitham Haddad
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